“Not only are bloggers suckers for the remarkable, so are the people who read blogs.” - Seth Godin

BOOSTER BYTE 69

Failure is not an option. If Steps 1 and 2 fail to produce results, reorient the resolving conversation to one of curiosity—your curiosity. This new tact will dominate those who might still be angry. Curiosity plays on people’s desire to be reasonable.

Even though you might be a senior executive or the Leader, for now become a learner. Find out why the principals involved in the conflict feel the way they do. You are no longer the judge and jury—you are now the mediator. You are curious about their feelings. People love to talk about how they feel. It purges their emotions. If you let them talk long enough, their anger will evaporate.

If time is short—as it always seems to be—and you can’t wait for the verbal venting to stop, here’s a shortcut. Get the person who needs to vent to write down (yes, old school using paper and pencil) everything that happened. Make them use painstaking detail. However—and here’s the catch—no one will ever see their written venting. It is for their eyes only. What works is the process of doing it. The physical act of handwriting on paper their real and imagined slights is cathartic and very therapeutic. Soon they will have exhausted themselves and be ready to reenter the adult world.

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